This is the thing that keeps you stuck
You know how politicians do that thing where they don't want you to pay attention to something they're doing that might not be totally copacetic, so they create another, more exciting thing to distract everyone from the real problem?
That's kind of what your brain is doing to you when it keeps telling you to try and lose weight.
First of all, I'm not telling you that you shouldn't want to lose weight. I totally get it, and I know it's almost inevitable to feel that way. So don't worry...you can hold on to that.
What I AM saying is that you've been going about it all wrong.
Hear me out...
What are the main reasons you want to lose weight? I'm betting it's wanting to improve your health and wanting to improve your life/feel better about yourself.
So let's break it down.
Health. What does that look like? Probably more energy, feeling better, better lab work at the doctor, right? How do you get those things--what are the actual steps you need to take? Just off the top of my head, I'm thinking drink more water, eat more vegetables, move your body more, and manage stress better. Maybe those things will also lead to weight loss, too.
When we really look at it, weight loss is a result of positive health-related changes, not the cause of them.
As far as improving your life and feeling better about yourself goes, just take a closer look and see if weight loss is really related to those problems. Make a list of what, specifically, you want. Be honest with yourself--is losing weight the only way to get that thing? And are you sure losing weight will get you that thing? I can't think of a single thing that is 1) guaranteed by weight loss, or 2) can only be accomplished through weight loss. (If you think you've come up with something, email me and let me know...I'm curious!)
So, let's assume you've been totally focused on losing weight to solve all your problems, but there's no guarantee that it will fix anything. And not only that, but losing weight is hard and you keep failing over and over again! (This may sound familiar...)
So you think you can't do anything about your problems until you lose weight, so that's all you try to do, but you can't do it, so your problems never get fixed.
What's the solution to this thorny conundrum?
Wrap your arms around weight-loss, pick it up, give it a big hug and kiss, and put it on that empty shelf in your linen closet. (Yeah right! Who has any space in their linen closet?? Just pretend--it's a metaphor!)
You don't have to abandon it, or forget about it, or not want it any more. You just have to decide that you're going to focus on something else for a while.
When you do the specific things that actually improve your life, your life will actually improve.
It's just a matter of approaching the whole thing from a different angle. Weight gain is a symptom of poor health, life dissatisfaction, low self-confidence, and not taking care of yourself. If you keep trying to treat the symptom, you'll never get anywhere. You wouldn't keep going to the doctor for cough medicine if you had lung cancer, or just keep putting ice on an infected finger that has a splinter in it.
Trying to lose weight is just not the right first step to get where you want to go, and may not even get you to where you want to be. Go around it for a while, and see how much progress you can actually make!
If you have an eating / body image / food-related question, email me and let me know! You may be the star of my next Q&A blog!