Biscuits & Porn
I apologize for the click-bait title, but it actually IS what this post is about.
I’m camping right now, and there’s a gentleman at a neighboring site packing up his car to head home. He’s taking down decorations, and putting bikes on the rack, and lugging suitcases into his car. His teenage daughter is milling around, helping here and there, mostly looking at her phone. There’s also a much smaller child running around...not helping at all.
The man is wearing a shirt that says “BISCUITS & PORN” in big bold letters on the back. (I Googled it -- it’s a cafe in the south that serves good biscuits and sells porn.
I immediately sneered when I saw it, easily judging him for his obvious lack of character and parenting skills.
Then I thought: “No, Teddey...turn it around and see how his path is completely legitimate and not worthy of judgment.”
I couldn’t do it. I could not envision a scenario where him wearing that shirt was at all beneficial to anyone in any situation, ever.
But then I was able to take it one step deeper: it doesn’t matter if I can see it. It doesn’t matter if I can figure out HOW that guy is on his perfect path or whether what he’s doing is legitimate. What matters is that I know he is, and he deserves to live free of judgment (and sneers) just like I do.
Furthermore, as long as I’m focused on his Biscuits & Porn, I’m undermining my own power. I’m thinking about someone else’s perfect path. I’m thinking about how I can’t make his reality fit harmoniously with mine. I’m creating negative energy.
But worst of all, I’m thinking about something I don’t want (ok, maybe I want the good biscuits, but I don’t want the porn, and I don’t want him to be wearing that shirt around his little girls). As long as I’m focused on that, I’m inviting more of it into my life. As long as I’m judging him, I’m asking to be judged. And as long as I’m thinking about him sending an inappropriate message to his daughters, I’m asking the Universe to show me more examples of that kind of thing.
He is gone, now. He and his daughters and their dogs and his Biscuits & Porn are on the road back home on this gorgeous day, and I wish him well. As hard as it is, I am sending him love and remembering that he can do whatever he wants, and I can do whatever I want, and we are both perfectly legitimate.
That feels a heck of a lot better than judging him….It really does. And it frees me to get back on my own perfect path.