Focus on what you want

I used to sit and make lists of all the things I didn’t like about myself and my life. The titles were things like, “What I Want to Change About Myself,” or “Things I Wish Were Different.”

The contents were always something like:

  • My health

  • My financial situation

  • My weight

  • My anxiety

I would look at these lists and repeat the items over and over again, wishing as hard as I could that things could be different.

The one thing all these lists had in common was the focus on what I didn’t want. I was just repeating the negatives over and over again, and didn’t even really have a vision of what I actually wanted. I just knew I didn’t want what I had.

I felt so frustrated and stuck. I had this burning desire to change, and absolutely no idea how to do it. I believe (as many of us do) that if I hated my life enough or hated my body enough, I would finally get “motivated” enough to change. I hope you can see that this is terrible logic.

My life actually started to change when I changed the messages in my head. When I started to think about what I wanted, rather than what I didn’t want. When I started to build myself up and encourage myself, rather than beat myself up. When I started to develop a vision of my ideal life and strive for that.

Positive change does not occur through negative thought. You’ve got to love yourself enough to change, not hate yourself enough. You may not be perfectly happy with all of your current circumstances, but focusing on the negative and criticizing yourself will just dig you deeper in the hole.

Change will happen when you can envision what you really want, and focus on those wonderful things. One of the most eye-opening experiences I’ve had was when I was asked to sit down and write what my perfect life would look like if I didn’t have any of my current problems. I literally don’t think I had ever dared to even imagine how great things could be, because I was so obsessed with how awful things actually were.

Your state of mind is the starting point for anything. Create the energy you want to attract. If you want to be happy, do everything in your power to create happiness now. If you want to be healthier, think about health and energy and vitality and do whatever you can to start creating those things for yourself. If you want to be wealthy, think about prosperity and do everything you can to have an abundant, generous mindset.

The best way to start changing your mindset is through affirmations. It’s actually really fun. Sit down and make a list of your ideal realities. How you want things to be, but written in the present tense as if they are already true. It’s sanctioned daydreaming! Repeat them to yourself a couple times a day, out loud. It may feel silly at first, but it works. You’ll be amazed at how quickly they actually become true.

Create momentum for change, and watch your perfect life unfold.

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