How can I love this body?
You’re not happy with your body. You’re not comfortable. You know dieting doesn’t work and you need to fix your relationship with food, but this sucks right now. You don’t want to be this size.
I get it.
You’ve spent your whole life trying to be smaller, and it’s hard to let go of that goal...even though you know it’s contributing to all your struggles. You know you should be able to accept yourself and feel worthy at any size, but you don’t. It just seems impossible, when everything and everyone has been telling you that it’s ideal to be thin (or thinner) and it’s your job to keep trying to change yourself.
How can you make peace with your body right now, even when it’s so far from the ideal you’ve been striving for all this time?
This is not a change that will happen overnight. These ideas have been drilled into you for years. Everywhere you look, everything you’ve been told, even your doctor may have convinced you that your life would be better if you were smaller.
You’re already on the right track, though. The fact that you even want to try and establish some self-acceptance at your current size is the first huge step (maybe even the hardest part). So you’re already making progress -- give yourself some kudos for that!
The mindset shift to accepting yourself right now will happen gradually, with some focused thinking on your part. Here are four things you can do to speed things along:
Wear clothes that fit. Having a wardrobe of things that you love and that feel good on your body will go a LONG way toward improving your self-esteem. Wearing clothes that are too small or don’t look good (because you don’t want to invest in larger sizes) just reminds you a million times a day that you don’t respect yourself and don’t feel acceptable at your current size. Your self-confidence will soar when you have beautiful, comfortable options to dress yourself each day.
Surround yourself with images of confident, large women living happy, vibrant lives. The media is full of images of very thin women -- so much so that we’ve begun to think that body type is the norm. It’s not. The more you “normalize” your own body type, the easier it will be to feel confident at any size.
Take great care of yourself. Do whatever makes you feel great about yourself -- whether it’s a new haircut, manicure, day-long hike, facial, hot bath, spa day, tennis tournament, or eyelash extensions. Pamper yourself, put yourself first.
Make an effort to feel better. Sometimes dissatisfaction with your body is at least partially the result of just not feeling good. What can you do to feel better physically, without having weight-loss be a marker of success? Drink more water, up your fiber intake, find some fun exercise, get more sleep...what do YOU need to feel your best?
You’re already on the road to success. You’ll get where you want to be with a little persistence and focus. It doesn’t have to be a long, difficult journey, but it will take some time.
So, take a deep breath, and remember why you’re doing this: the freedom, peace, and joy of self-acceptance is WELL worth the effort.
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