It's not about your body

It is absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, not about your body.

Those fears and doubt you have...that hatred and dread that washes over you when you think about your body...it’s about something else.

How can I be so sure? Because I know your body has nothing to do with who you are, your spirit, your soul, your mind. I know your fears and doubts are about something much bigger than your shape or weight or the cellulite on your butt.

We made up this thing to worry about, because it’s easier than facing our real problems. It’s easier to think things would be better if we lost 10 -- or 50 -- or 100 pounds than to wonder if we’re living our truth or following our dreams or really want to be married to our husbands or wives.

Hating your body is a distraction.

You are projecting all your difficult thoughts and insecurities onto this one, tangible, seemingly fixable aspect of your life.

We live in a culture that tells us our self-worth is wrapped up in our size, and we buy it. We buy the products and the programs and the pills and the microwave meals, desperate to feel valued, worthy, and acceptable.

I’ve got news for you, girl: you’re already awesome. The size of your butt doesn’t define you. Your waist circumference has nothing to do with who you are. You are the same person in a size 4 as you are in a size 34.

I know you already know this. I know you know deep down inside that you are incredible, and competent, and deserve everything your heart desires. You’ve just gotten distracted.

For decades, my body symbolized everything that was wrong in my life -- all my bad relationships and low self-esteem and boring jobs and empty bank accounts and dirty carpets were all rolled into one, neat, tidy, easy-to-loathe package.

No matter how much weight I lost, or how much weight I gained, or what size jeans I wore, I was still the same person, with the same problems. I finally realized that this thing I had been hating -- the perceived source of all my unhappiness -- was really just an innocent bystander. The actual stuff I needed to fix actually had nothing to do my weight...Talk about a mind-blower!

Only when I faced the actual underlying problems did I start to feel any kind of peace or freedom in my life. Only when I was able to look at my life, unfiltered, deep down, without any distractions could I see what I really wanted and needed.

And it had absolutely nothing to do with my body.

My problem was needing purpose and self-respect. I needed independence and a feeling of competence. I needed to express my creativity and live for something bigger than laundry.

What is it for you? What do you really need? What do you really want? What is underneath that layer of self-loathing and insecurity?

The next time you think you need to lose weight, or control what you eat, or change the way you look in order to be happy, please stop and ask yourself: What is this really about?

Don’t be afraid to explore. The treasure you’ll uncover is a competent, beautiful, worthy woman who lives life on her own terms and follows her dreams.

If you can’t see her yet, don’t worry. I can -- and she’s fantastic.


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5 Ways to Clear Negative Body Thoughts and 5 Daily Affirmations

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