I still struggle with food.

What a crazy couple of weeks I've had.

It occurred to me this morning that I literally don't think I've ever had so many things going on at once. I've also had a huge change in my personal life, and it's caused my daily schedule to change dramatically.

I'm not complaining--it's all good stuff.

But it's times like these when I am forced to revisit my relationship with food. During my normal routine, I don't think about it too much. It's not hard.

But when I'm thrown out of my regular groove, I notice changes in every aspect of my life. My normal morning routine of prayer and meditation has gone out the window. My daily walks with my husband have been sporadic, at best. And my eating has completely changed.

I can feel myself seeking comfort from my food more than I normally do. This means I'm eating a little more than usual, and the food I choose is fairly rich. I don't feel great when I eat like this.

The good news is that I'm not freaking out. I'm not thinking about dieting or planning some quick redemption.

What I am doing is observing.

Oh, yeah...this is what happens when I feel this way.

This is the way I feel when I eat like this.

Things start to unravel when my self-care gets chaotic.

This is the reward of having clarity about my relationship with food.

I'm not panicking and making promises and plans and starting things that won't last or won't work. I'm noticing what's going on and reminding myself what I need to do to feel more in control. Good, healthy stuff. Stuff that keeps me grounded.

And the next time I have a period like this in my life, it will be even more familiar and I'll be able to adjust my course even faster. I feel calm and happy when I'm taking care of myself, and I feel anxious and unhappy when I don't. The more I learn, the more pronounced these feelings get, and the easier it is to redirect.

Like I told a client the other day, I don't think there will ever be a time when I'm finished. All good. Fixed.

But it gets easier every time. I am supporting myself and learning rather than berating myself and feeling guilty. I understand what's happening and know what I need to do.

It's not about being perfect or never struggling. It's about feeling confident and secure that you will know just how to handle it when it happens.


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Teddey HicksComment